I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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