Small penises have feelings too.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
