I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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