I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
