i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hippo gnu deer
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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