Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
