remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize