It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
