Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
