Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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