I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize