i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This baby is an asshole
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
