well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
