so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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