So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
