no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
