just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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