I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
