highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
