I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
