I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
