It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
