Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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