period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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