I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
