Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
