In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
