I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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