If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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