Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
