That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
