The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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