Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
