THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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