I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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