dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
