I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
