I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
