Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
