the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
