Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Who died my cat blue again?
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