so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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