dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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