next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
