i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I need a beard to bite.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
