nut hugger
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
