I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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