I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
