he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
