every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
