you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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