apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
