i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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