May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
