She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
