Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
this hospital has no fireball
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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